On one saturday, I was going to youth terus randomly pas di WC kayak cuma gumam, God, tell me something, show me something, give me confirmation. (padahal beban hidup lagi gak berat-berat banget at that moment, cuma ya pengen aja Tuhan show me something).
Nah terus pas gwe pulang dari youth, kan pesen grab tuh.. Terus sampe 2 kali cancel, karena si abang grab gak bisa dihubungi. Terus dapetlah yang ketiga, dan di tengah jalan randomly tuh orang ngomong gini (setelah ngobrol dan ternyata doi juga pelayan jemaat di gereja yang mirip sama gereja gwe), "Can I prophesy to you?"
I was like, huh? (sambil mikir wah ni orang gila sih..) terus gwe jawab aja, "yauda coba aja.." sambil kayak nantangin, lu mau ngomong apa sih emangnya..
Eh.......... crazily, he mentioned 3 things that matters in my life and it's important thing to know. kaget w. He mentioned things memang yang lagi Tuhan ingetin ke gwe, dan confirmation.
First, I need to soaking in His presence more and more. This I admit, I kinda lose it these few months, gak lagi sepeka dulu, gak lagi se-crazy for God kayak dulu. Second, he mentioned that I don't have to worry about my relationship (which I kinda have struggles on it). Third, he mentioned about, I will be used by God to have strategy and creativity on how creating souls, young people come to my church. Which all those 3 are..... crazy.
Pulang sampai rumah, gwe sampe duduk di sofa dan shock terdiam karena.. God was that close! God is that close! Asal kita punya willingness to hear from Him, to learn from Him, He will tell you many things, He will teach you many things.
Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. (Jeremiah 33:3 ESV)While I was thinking about it, one revelation came to me.
He does not call me by my weakness,
He does not call me by my failure,
He does not call me by my sin,
He does not call me by my past.
He calls me by my name,
He calls me by my calling,
He calls me by my identity He made for me,
He calls me by my worth,
He calls me by my strength,
He calls me by my name.
Isn't that amazing? That night, God wanted to remind me, although I have run away, I have failed Him million times, I have disappointed him by the repeat sins I've done, God still listen, care and speak to me. He just being a father who always be there no matter how much we have wronged Him.
His way so loving kindness. That is how love change everything. When we know we are loved that much, don't we feel regret and want to change ourlives to please Him?
#nowplaying - Known (Tauren Wells)
It's so unusual it's frightening, You see right through the mess inside me and you call me out to pull me in. You tell me I can start again and I don't need to keep on hiding
I'm fully known and loved by You. You won't let go no matter what I do and it's not one or the other. It's hard truth and ridiculous grace. To be known fully known and loved by You. I'm fully known and loved by You. It's so like You to keep pursuing. It's so like me to go astray, ooh
But You guard my heart with Your truth. The kind of love that's bullet proof and I surrender to Your kindness, oh. I'm fully known and loved by You. You won't let go no matter what I do.
And it's not one or the other. It's hard truth and ridiculous grace. To be known fully known and loved by You. I'm fully known and loved by You.
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