Some people I know pernah berpendapat bahwa mereka gak setuju dengan adanya sistem mentor-mentoran, entah karena gak suka 'diatur' (atau mungkin lebih tepatnya diarahkan), atau juga karena mereka takut suatu saat 'ditinggal' ketika sudah terlalu attached. When I dig deeper, mereka semua punya reason dibalik pendapatnya itu. Ada yang pernah mengalami kisah yang gak mengenakan dengan mentornya, kecewa, marah, dan sakit hati yang berujung dengan mereka ogah lagi dengan sistem-sistem mentorship.
Gwe, punya 1 mentor. Have known her since 2009, lewat retreat youth yang waktu itu out of nowhere tiba-tiba gwe joined, dan dari sana, gwe rasa 'U-turn' gwe happened. Gwe yang zaman itu lagi super cengeng-cengengnya, berasa alone and lonely most of the nights, zaman itu gwe yang bisa gila-gilaan sama temen-temen, and ten minutes later bisa keluar kelas (zaman itu masih SMA), dan tiba-tiba bisa galau karena merasa super lonely.
Sejak September 2009 itu, karena doi mentor gwe pas retreat dan akhirnya terus saling berhubungan even setelah retreatnya kelar, gwe mulai aktif dateng youth dan lama-lama mulai bener-bener attached to her. Imagine this, the lonely one who long for a sister for a loong looong time, terus tiba-tiba ketemu satu sosok sister yang dearly, yang physically and spiritually pretty, bayangkan what happened that days? Yes, over sensitive and possessive about her. Not in weird dan aneh-aneh posesif segala macemnya, tapi in a way seorang anak labil yang merasa udah punya sesuatu yang dia pengenin dan kejealousan datang ketika sesuatu yang udah dia miliki sekarang dipinjem sama orang lain.
Time flies, and praise God i've learnt so many things. Gwe belajar lebih dewasa, time goes by dan semenjak 2009 itu, I grow deeper in God, somehow semakin mengerti dan memahami plansnya Tuhan, divine purposenya Tuhan, semakin mengerti gwe tuh diciptain gak buat gwe doank dan don't waste time untuk mikirin daging dan ego sendiri. 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014.. all times passed by, banyak banget struggle yang dilalui, banyak masalah yang dihadapi, bahkan sering banget jatuh di masalah yang itu-itu melulu. Bahkan di satu titik gwe pernah sick of myself dan mau give up kabur ke hutan (nyehehe). Setelah melewati tahun-tahun tersebut dan sekarang gwe melihat kebelakang, you know what the most thing I grateful for? Selain His Grace and Mercy yang selalu baru setiap hari?
I grateful for, ketika dalam masa-masa itu, masa-masa gwe merasa lonely alone dan di jalan 'balik' sama Tuhan gwe mengalami jatuh bangun, I grateful for her, my spiritual mentor who didn't give up on me while i was thinking about giving up. I grateful for the ears that never bore to listen, for the heart that never tire to love, grateful for the arms that never too weak to hug me in my dark days.
Dig deeper about myself, gwe pernah ngalamin semacam 'abandoned' by my mentor zaman gwe masih sekolah minggu, maybe belasan tahun lalu. Someone i look up as my older sister saat itu broke my heart somehow dan made me so upset. Mungkin ini salah satunya alasan kenapa waktu gwe di tahun 2009 itu dipertemukan dengan sosok kakak rohani lagi, somehow i feel attached tapi juga takut yang terlalu attached karena takut sakit hati, lagi.
Tapi seriusan, seiring berjalannya waktu dan lo semakin dewasa dalam Tuhan lo banyak belajar, khususnya in a relationship. I and her, my current spiritual mentor have TONS of differences. Gwe lebih ekstrovert, dia lebih introvert, itu signifikan difference, sisanya MASIH BANYAK,,, hahaha.. but we have same thing, kita sama-sama well actually, sensitive. Kita sama-sama belajar untuk sometimes menekan ego sendiri untuk bisa get along, belajar untuk membuka diri untuk bisa get through together. Sampai kemarin malam setelah dinner date setelah lama gak bersua, pas gwe dirumah and cuci piring, i was reminded about something..
In a relationship, it is the similarities between you that bring you together, but only the differences keep you rooted stronger. and tonight i realize one thing, sometimes when people don't act as what you expected them to do, it doesn't mean they love you less. They just have difference love language to show.
(yeah, kenapa jadi melenceng kesini)
Inti dari post ini yang sebenarnya mau gwe sampein adalah.... Mentorship itu penting. Terlalu banyak benefit yang bisa didapet dari mempunyai hubungan mentorship sama kakak rohani (or even when you become one, lo juga dapat banyak pelajaran in having adek rohani). Pernah suatu kali, ketika gwe capek banget jatoh dalam kelemahan gwe yang itu-itu lagi, dan pas gwe lagi nangis-nangis curhat ke dia, gwe kayak bilang intinya kayak say sorry to bother her about the same thing over and over again, dan yang dia jawab adalah 'it's okay, i've commited to you' (kurang lebih jawabannya begitu, i forgot). Komit. Hubungan mentoring gak bisa cuma dilandasin perasaan, it needs komitmen. Ketika elo jadi kakak rohani, you need commitment yang enable you untuk tetep stand by their side, even in the darkest one. Ketika elo jadi adek rohani, you need commitment untuk terbuka even ketika lo sebenernya malu untuk ceritain kejatuhan lo, masa lalu lo. One thing for sure, you can't go alone in this world, lo gak bisa jalan sendirian, lo butuh orang yang ngangkat lo ketika lo jatuh, telling you when you're wrong, nasehatin lo ketika lo gak ada pegangan, and for me, all those things summed up in a word, mentor.
Beda dari temen-temen yang sometimes cuma bisa diajak happy-happy, beda dari temen-temen yang meski lo salah malah ikut ngedukung dan gak berani arahin lo ke track yang bener, beda dari temen-temen yang cuma bisa diajak ngobrol masalah-masalah seru. Mentor leads you to the Truth, to the Christ. Mentors are not perfect, as who you are. Tapi somehow you really need a mentor.
If you haven't had one, try to find one. The one you can look up to, the one you trust, the one you see Christ in them, the one you know how they behave daily. Don't forget to pray to God, and still, don't put your hope in human, however keep in mind that only Christ never fails. One day if they fail you, you'll learn about forgiveness and compassion and love.
If you have one, embrace him/her, pray for them, thank God for them, don't take them for granted, support them as how they support you.
Now if you have a mentee, i'm telling you, don't give up. Keep loving, keep standing beside him/her, keep praying for them. You will never know how much you mean to them. Even when you're tired of listening the same failure they face, just don't give up on supporting them. Remember that you used to be on their position, and how you need encouragement that day, it's how they're feeling right now.
If you have a mentor and somehow you want to have a mentee, well, you should pray to God as He will reveal the right person to you in the right time. If you haven't grown mature enough in Him, you won't be able to lead the other person.
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:10
*currently listening to Start A Fire by Unspoken*
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